Sunday, March 28, 2010

lions and tigers and babies ... oh my!

This weekend was wonderful!The weather was beautiful ... especially for the Cooper River Bridge Run and the Flowertown Festival! I had a ball at the festival with my mother-in-law ... first time I'd ever been and I loved it! Sunday was a family baby shower for my sweet cousin Julie. She is due in about 4-5 weeks and looks amazing! Jenny, another cousin, had her precious baby Kate at the shower. She's walking and talking and oh so cute! The games (which my sisters and I were in charge of) went over well and the food was wonderful ... as usual! Laurie, another cousin, announced at the end of the shower that she is pregnant and due in November. I also found out, through Facebook stalking (who doesn't do that?) that two friends from high school are expecting, one for the second time.

I say all this to ask a question ... have you ever felt genuinely happy for someone about something and at the very same time felt anger or saddness about that same something in your own life? 

I am having a very difficult time with the whole "pregnancy" thing in my life and honestly I just don't know if it's in the cards for me. That makes me cry every time I think about it. I've always loved children ... being around them, caring for them, teaching them. So, why wouldn't God let me have them? I know that's a little presumptuous to say, considering all of the medical procedures haven't been exhausted yet, but the thought is still in the back of my mind ... daily.  I know that my timing is never perfect and I know that his timing is. I know that there are reasons to hardships in life that I might not ever fully understand. I know that God's plan for my life is much better than anything I could want. Right now I'm struggling with "knowing" these things and "feeling in my heart" the trust and faith that God to provide them, or even something better in his time. I feel like all my life all I've ever wanted was to be a teacher and a wife and a mother.  It's scary to think that the mother part might not happen.

On the other side of things, I have wonderful support. My husband is amazing about the whole situation. My cousins were very understanding when I explained everything to them this weekend. My church family prays for me. I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz ... when she's trying to get through the scary woods. She faces her fears (the woods) with support (the scarecrow and the tin man). She meets obstacles (the lion) that turn out not so bad and she gets through.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Sooo ... get ready for fun baby shower games!!! I've had fun with my sisters planning baby shower stuff for my cousin. She is having a baby girl pretty soon and we always get to do something as a family ... aunts and cousins! I love that about our family! My sisters and I have the best of both worlds because we are right in the middle ... my daddy's side and my mom's side (for the most part) all know each other and celebrate together. It's truly a blessing and I hope that it never changes.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Cowboys ...

Tonight was the annual Flowertown Elementary School Cowboy Campout. It was complete with cattle roping, line dancing, wood branding, stick horse riding, a chili cook-off, and a Best Dressed Cowboy and Cowgirl competition. Despite the soggy weather there was a large turn out! David and I chose not to campout this year ... GREAT decision! Why? It's raining now, those poor families! Anyway, our PE teacher, Steve Riccardi, is a real life cowboy. Truly ... he dresses like one, goes to "Shoot Outs" and hangs out with others just like him. He gets all his Cowboy and Cowgirl buddies together for a big campout every year at our school. The kids LOVE it. It's very laid back and fun for them. It reminds me of watching Little House on the Prairie with my grandmother and westerns with my daddy. Sometimes I wish I lived in that simpler time ... without the stresses of the world ... without the busy schedules and hectic days ... when you went to bed because it was dark and didn't go to school in August. But then I think ... I LOVE TEACHING. Teachers back then weren't allowed to marry. There were a lot of restrictions really ... yuck! So, I'm thankful for my job and for the time period in which I practice it. It does no good to want something that's impossible. You're probably thinking ... duh?! As I type this I'm thinking the same thing ... so why do I wish for things to be different sometimes? The only reason I can come up with is that I'm looking for an easier road. But really, I think the road I'm on is easy, in it's own way, I've just got to see it, let go and let God, slow down and feel Him, and trust he is in control! (told you this was hard for me ...)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

All Of It

I'm so glad that I decided to start blogging ... it's nice to get your thoughts out there ... to clear your mind a little. It really doesn't matter to me if people read or not, but, on the off chance that there are people who care about my ordinary life ... I hope to inspire or challenge or both. All I can offer are lessons I've learned and things that are revealed to me and hopefully they can apply to others.

Soooo, I went back to work today after being out for two days and found out

they lived.

I often take pride in my job. Probably too much pride. I know how to do what I do, however, I was reminded today about humility. "I" didn't put myself where I am today. "I" didn't give myself the ability to achieve what I've achieved. "I" sometimes take that for granted ... it's like the "They NEED me" attitude. It's a lie! They don't NEED me. "I" didn't do any of it. God did. He put me where I am. He helped me with all of my accomplishments. It was Him! So of course they survived while I was out ... God is in control.

I hope you are letting God control your life ... ALL of it. (I'm still working on that too ...)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Fresh Air

What are the odds that I'm sick on one of the first wonderful days? I've been down for the count with strep throat ... second time this year! The doctors at Nason Medical laughed at me when I told them I know it's strep because this is the second time this year. He wanted to test me for the flu and something else (medicine head made me forget!) but I said there was no need ... that's when the laughter came. He pushed, so I agreed to amuse him. I was right! I wonder if there is such thing as Chronic Strep Throat ... if so, I have it! Last year I had this once and the year before that, twice. Anyway, that's enough whining!

If you haven't been outside today ... GO! Even though I'm sick I took a long stroll with my little Lily for the fresh air. How amazing it was. This morning I was reminded that God promises new mercies for my life with each morning. What an amazing promise ... I wish I could be that way!

Lamentations 3:22-23 - "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Today, outside, I could feel Him. I just walked, breathed, and felt God in this world. That's hard to do in a world like we live in, but sometimes, when you slow down, it is still possible. The hard part is the slowing down ... maybe that's why I got sick, to remind me to slow down every once in a while. So I'm going to challenge you ... slow down! Breath God's freshness ... you won't regret it!

Monday, March 8, 2010

I Hope You Don't Mind

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

As a kindergarten teacher, I felt I must start this blog with a children's book author's quote. Only ... I think he is smarter than just that. I think he has a message to all ages! I think his message is to be you ... no matter who that is! So, as I start this blog, I'm going to let you in on me ...

I'm a kindergarten teacher! I LOVE being with children. I have always loved children; be it my little sisters, neighborhood kids that I babysat for, or students in my class. Their pure and innocent outlook in life encourages and reminds me to be open and honest with my family and myself all the time.

I love music! I used to take piano lessons. My family likes to pick on me about "quitting." I did, however, have two consecutive horrible teachers (long story). I learned what I needed to learn and can still read anything you put in front of me. With practice, I can learn it. I like to play for me, though, for the stress relief and the enjoyment of the sound. My husband catches me sometimes ... lost in the music. My radio is set to christian and country and my Ipod is filled with a wide variety of genres ... mostly things that stir my heart and make me think.

I love love! I'm married to the man of my dreams. We fell in love almost at first sight ... and although I was accused of living a 'boring' life ... just settling down near home to have babies ... I couldn't be happier. For the record, the person who accused me of that 'boring life' has decided she is going to do the same thing ... sadly she gave up a lot of her dreams for a boy. And between you and me - if anyone in my family were to break the boundaries that a southern daddy set of not going Up North, it would have been her! None-the-less I still love her, even though she chooses not to see it sometimes. Speaking of her, I love my family. I was born and raised in SC, where family is everything. We all have "that cousin" or "that uncle" or "those in-laws" but when it comes right down to it ... we truly love each other. At least that's the way I've always seen it. My momma knows everything, even if I don't want to admit it and my daddy could move a mountain!

The most important thing I love, is my Lord. His name is Jesus. He was born in a small town (like Lexington, where I was born, used to be) and raised by two young parents (mine were in their 20's) and had siblings (James). I can relate to him because he's walked in my shoes. Here's where my life doesn't measure up, though I sure wish it would ... He started his ministry of telling the whole world who he was and why he was here. He never messed up ... ever(how hard is that!). Then he was killed because of the claims he made, miracles he performed and simply for who he was. He didn't stay dead though (I know, sounds crazy, like a movie or something ... but it's real!) He came back to life after three days of being dead. Check this out ... an angel pushed a boulder away so he could get out of the cave he was buried in, then he went to his family and friends to show them he was alive. Then, the bible says, "He left them and was carried up into Heaven." He literally floated up into the clouds and is in Heaven. He didn't die again to get there like you and I will have to, he just went like he is. I don't know about you but when I heard that story, I thought that's the coolest thing I've ever heard! I don't want to walk around aimlessly, I want to do what he did, be like he was, live like he lived, speak like he spoke, love like he loved, because that's not just a story in a movie or a book. It's real life. It's real to my life. I hope it's real to your life ... if it's not, I'd like to help you change your mind!

So, you might be thinking, how am I going to bring all these things back to Dr. Seuss? I'm not ...

I know that my family will listen, forgive and move on when I mess up. Maybe not in my time, but theirs is perfectly fine. I know that my love and passion for teaching is from God so that's not going anywhere. I'm not really quite sure where music comes in but I know that it will one day. In the meantime ... I'll keep seeking to live like Jesus. He said what he meant and meant what he said, all the time. And he was good, all the time. I only hope the people in my life that matter the most to me, don't mind.