What a question. Presumably, you want to know why I cried. Based on the title of this blog, but please be patient. My response will come ... I want to address that question. Why? Those three letters and one punctuation mark spark SO much thought an conversation in SO many areas of life. Why? It seems like no matter how much you think, say, explain, answer ... whatever ... there's still room for one more WHY?
I've been reading this book with my fellow church staff members, and it's really been good at
Some of the "Why?" questions I've been asking myself lately are these:
Why do you do what you do?
Why do you want to move?
Why do you want a family?
There are a multitude of reasons I could tell you about why I'm in the profession I'm in ... read back a few years to this post and you can see the way it all went down. I love my job. Most of the time it doesn't even feel like a job. That's good! There are lots of reasons I want to move back to Mt. Pleasant from Summerville ... that's another post for another day ... but the bottom line is that it's working out. That's good! There are probably a bazillion reasons I want a family. Here again, the bottom line is that it's all going to work out. We have a plan in place and it's good!
All kinds of things in my life are going great right now and I'm still asking myself questions. Why? Because I heard a sermon a few weeks back about "Suffering Well." Watch it here. (it's worth the few extra minutes, I promise!) One of the things our pastor said was that we should prepare ourselves in the seasons of good to be ready when the seasons of bad arrive. Our amazingly sovereign God knows what's in store for me. I think that he's choosing to teach me to consistently ask myself pointed questions
so that when trouble comes I am prepared ...
so that I can ground myself amidst a tornado of crazy ...
so that when trouble comes I won't roll my little snowball of a problem into oblivion ...
so that when trouble comes I will be prepared to stop, breathe, and remind myself ...
There's always an answer to that tricky little pesky question WHY
Thankful doesn't begin to describe how I feel about my God. He's always in control. It's hard to lean on him and need him (i mean really really need him) when things are going good. I am working on that and learning how sweet my relationship with Him is during seasons of good. I am not being a "Debby Downer" thinking that trouble is lurking around the next corner, but I am recognizing that He's teaching me a valuable lesson that I can only PRAY I'll remember in the future. Life isn't always perfect. That's reality, so I'm so thankful for a God that helps us through struggles AND prepares us for them in advance!
I bet you're still wondering why I cried? Read this - I know it's long but seriously read it. Every Christian teacher I know (ESPECIALLY MYSELF) thinks this during the middle of August! This lady must have read my private journals for the 6 years I prepared for a new class of kids. I cried because I still have a teacher's heart. I love teachers - the chance I had to be one, the ones that shaped me, the ones I worked with, and the ones I've known over the years. I cried because I still miss the classroom sometimes. I cried because I know that God's plan to move me into my position here at FBC involved my whole heart loving being a teacher first. I cried because I knew I was called to be a Teacher just as strongly as I know I'm called to be a Children's Minister. I cried because I am overwhelmed with the love my Lord has shown me in directing my life. I cried because I thought I had the best of the best when I was a teacher only to find out the next step God had planned for me was even better! I cried because I'm not sure where the road I'm on is going, but I am sure that I'm on the right road ...
"For this reason I kneel before the Father,
from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you
with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearths through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory
in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
forever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21
... that's good!
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