Wide Awake at 2:24

And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. Mark 1:35

So, at 2:24 this morning I woke up. I mean wide awake and ready to face the day. I tried to turn over and was greeted by a little snoring from the hubs. When I turned back over I heard a still small voice "very early, Jesus got up."

My mind immediately went here:  Seriously? at 2:30 Jesus got up? Doesn't that verse mean he got up around 5:00 just before sunrise?

Nope. At least not for me.

Fast forward, it's now 4am and I'm sitting on my couch (so that I don't wake the snoring hubs) with a little toothless dog curled up next to me. More on the toothless drama later (it really could be a Lifetime movie). Anyway, I'm up, I'm dressed, and I'm ready to start a day that isn't supposed to get going for another six hours. What now God? 

Talk to me.           Pray.
Listen to me.        Seek His face.
Learn.                   Read Scripture.

Wow, in the middle of the night (by most people's standards) I'm having a moment with God. In case you're thinking that I'm crazy or that you'd never do this, please know that this isn't the norm for me either. I think, though, that sometimes God takes drastic measures to get our attention. I also believe that His ways are perfect. So, crazy as it may seem, I'm up and I'm listening. He got my attention and I'm excited to hear what He wants me to learn. It must be is surely important if He woke me up this early. In fact, this excites me a little ... knowing that my Father in Heaven loves me enough to intentionally work in my little world to orchestrate individual time with me! What a great God with amazing Love!

While focusing hard on doing all of the above, I decided to "google" Mark 1:35. I read it alone and in context. The first chapter of Mark is a nice quick picture of the beginnings of Jesus' ministry. It speaks of John the Baptist preparing the way for Jesus, Jesus' baptism, Jesus calling disciples (followers), some miraculous things Jesus did, and a little on his preaching. Verse 35 speaks of what he did before he went to preach & teach in Galilee. Scripture is SO GOOD! Still though, after re-reading and praying for a while I felt the need to keep searching. I went here and searched Mark 1:35.

Boom.

"First Things First: Making the Most of Your Morning" by David Mathis. This blog hit home, and it hit hard. What have I been doing with my mornings lately? I've always been an "early to bed, early to rise..." kind of person. (ask my sleeping hubs) It's like I have this internal clock that says "it's dark outside, go to bed!" And, when you go to bed early, you naturally wake up early. My parents said I was an easy baby ... I slept well. When I was teaching, it made me more energetic in the classroom to get up during the 4:00 hour to prepare for the school day. So, why have I been wasting my mornings lately? Truth is, I don't really know the answer to that. I could give you all kinds of great reasons, great answers, and great excuses, but the bottom line is I don't know. I guess I've fallen from my norm into a somewhat lazy & unproductive rut with my mornings. Harsh actions deserve harsh explanations. I don't like to think of myself as lazy (who does?) but if the shoe fits ...

Anyway, back to the blog I read. This man writes about how important it is to feed the inner man. On the surface, that sounds weird, but digging in, it really makes sense! Jesus spoke about living water that is all sufficient. He spoke of never thirsting again. He explained that if we seek Him we will never hunger or thirst again. Go read John 6:35! Generally people start their day with breakfast - food for our body. If we don't make breakfast a regular meal, usually there's a lunch or dinner happening at some point in the day. We need food to sustain us physically. Well, spiritually we need food too! We know this because Jesus told us ... how awesome is it that our God came down to Earth to live a perfect life and teach us all we need to know all the while performing miracles in order to defeat death by the time he left?!?!

Here's what I learned this morning (before 4am!): I've been physically feeding myself and only going through the motions spiritually. It reminds me of children pretending to eat play food. You know when a child brings you a plastic apple or a teacup from a tea set you pretend to eat & drink? Usually you say, Yummy, knowing that it's all just fake. Problem is, that isn't actually satisfying. It looks right, your mouth is making the right munching & slurping motions, but there isn't anything actually going in. This morning, I realized that my inner Kristen, was saying "Feed Me!" I've been starving my inner self and the Lord, in His loving and faithful way brought me back to Himself. He doesn't want me to pretend to eat play food. He wants me to read His word, to talk with Him and to learn. He wants me to take in what He has to give. He woke me up this morning to reset my clock (sorry David ... my recent late nights might be over!). He reminded me just how good his nourishment tastes.

And just in case you're wondering ... it's SO delicious!